Served Cold

"As the body withers with age and memories grow old...revenge is the dish that's best served cold." 

Yesterday I attended a gathering at a bar in north Amsterdam. The place was a mix of off work professionals, students and locals. I didn't want to be there. An acquaintance asked me to come so he could get some crypto advice. I found this proposal interesting because this same person had told me back in 2019 that crypto was a bubble and a waste of money. He was heavy into the equities market (stocks and bonds) and didn't consider crypto a real asset class. For identity purposes I'll call the acquaintance John. 

When I arrived at the bar John was already there with a group of people I didn't know. After greeting John and getting introduced to a bunch of faces with names I didn't bother to remember, I grabbed a drink at the bar. I asked for a vodka with apple juice and that's what the bartender said he gave me. John appeared at the bar beside me and began talking about his life. I tried to pay attention to his words but since I had no emotional connection to them my mind began to drift. In between Johns' sob story on how the stock market may crash and worries about having to move back to Seattle I caught bits of other conversations. There were several people discussing whether it was acceptable to wear socks with sandals. A man and woman sitting at the bar to my left were chatting about feeding their cat chocolate. People behind John and I were arguing over if Punk was dead or not. 

I finished my vodka apple juice and felt no effect. John finished his story and had a perplexed look on his face. I realized that a response was necessary but I hadn't been listening so was unaware of any question. My mind had been occupied wondering if the bartender had given me apple juice with no vodka. Everyone around me seemed like babbling village idiots. Perhaps my alcohol was defective. John said, "So can u do it?" Instead of asking him what "It" was? I said what I was thinking. "I think my alcohol is defective. This happened to me once when I was in South America. I need to talk to the bartender." John seemed confused then he laughed. I didn't. At that moment three other guys came over and blended into our discussion. Luck was on my side because John filled in the conversation gaps. 

By the way, don't worry if the people I'm writing about will be offended. Let me let u in on two little secrets. One, none of those guys like to read anything they don't have too. "If it's not in video or audio format then it's not worth knowing". That was a quote from one of the guys. I have a higher chance of being hit by a comet, being ridden by a two foot tall, green, Martian, wearing leather chaps and a cowboy hat, before any of them read my blog. Two, these are facts.

John and his friends wanted me to teach them about DeFi. Traditional markets are looking grim and crypto is showing bigger long term gains. Some of his friends had dabbled in crypto but none of them trusted or knew how to interact with smart contracts. They were semi-drunk so some of their questions became long stories about how the pandemic changed their lives. I gave them a brief summary on DeFi and some of my wins and losses in the space. After answering some crypto questions I excuse myself and went to the end of the bar by the entrance to speak to the bartender. Right after I gestured for the bartender to come over John appeared beside me. Alcohol makes people emotional. His eyes were glossy like he was on the verge of tears. He apologized for comments he had made about me losing money in crypto. Then he went on to say he understands if the reason I didn't say yes to his question is because I was still upset. What he was describing is petty revenge. 

Lets take a moment to discuss revenge. For me there are different types of revenge. First, there's the vengeful type of revenge. Second, there's the improve yourself and let your success destroy your enemies ego type of revenge. Last, is petty revenge, or commonly known as a grudge. This type never involves physical confrontation. Petty revenge is where u are in a position to help someone who wronged u in the past. You refuse to do it to get back at the person. For all types of revenge emotional attachment to that moment or experience is the driving force behind your actions. I feel nothing.   

The truth was I hadn't heard his question. My attention was focused on getting to the bottom of the vodka mystery. After his emotional display and my cold response John asked what was up. I seemed really relaxed for a guy who had recently taken a loss. I seemed calmer than normal. I could've told him that by changing my leverage trading strategy to 3x for Alts, plus a generous DyDx airdrop, I recouped everything I've lost over the last two years. Instead I just said, "I got it back." Then he asked if I was still trading? I told him, "I'll never stop trading." While we were talking people kept coming over and interjecting tidbits into the conversation. Another of John's friends had been standing by and said, "If u won everything back u should be celebrating. Why do u look so serious?" I replied, "I lost my emotional attachment to things." They all laughed. I didn't. Some more words were exchanged which disappeared from my brain like smoke in the wind. My concentration was on getting the bartender. 

Once again people had been talking to me but I missed the discussion. One of Johns' now completely inebriated friends said, "My man, it sucks that u lost feelings where do u think u lost them?" To my astonishment and utter disbelief, someone standing adjacent to me actually said, "Good question." In my mind it felt like I had been unwillingly transported to the high council of babbling idiots. I remained expressionless and replied, "I think they fell out my pocket on my way to the bar. I'm going to look for them on the way home. " They all laughed. I didn't. While they were still having bellies full of laughter and liquor, I returned to my quest for the bartender. This time I finally got his attention. The bartender was in front of me, John to my right, and one of his drunk minions to my left. The rest of the group had migrated over to us and were standing behind me making noisy monkey chatter. 

I introduced myself to the bartender. We exchanged pleasantries for a few moments, then I asked if the vodka was defective. They all laughed. I didn't. From the stoic expression on my face the bartender knew I was serious. We talked for a minute about different liquors while John and his friend made random shot suggestions. Since I was only drinking white liquor the bartender recommended I try some Jenever, a Dutch Gin. We drank shots of different Jenever brands. The bartender had taken half shots with us and had become talkative. It was a short time after that he bounced off to change the music. People were dancing by their tables and the mood was quite festive. 

As I sat on the bar stool listening to what was once mindless chatter trying to keep my thoughts from sinking below pristine white waves of liquor. I came to a realization. Either all the conversations around me had suddenly became scintillantly interesting or...I had become one of the babbling village idiots. Regardless of the answer, it was fun. After that I shared some DeFi resources with John. It took some time to convince him that his past words meant nothing to me. The brewed spirits helped insure my statements weren't taken offensively. Later, I conceded to the bartender that the alcohol wasn't defective. They all laughed. I did too. It was a nice night. 

One thing u want to always keep in mind. The people u pass on your ascension to success in the journey of life. Are the same people watching as u descend. If you show love to them along the way. They will often extend a helping hand to stop your fall. Food for thought. 

Until Next We Speak, Be Well 

Tha One an Only

Celestial Bodies

As the space race in the private sector heats up new exoplanet discoveries offer a glimpse of where mankind is moving in the near future. There's an estimated four hundred billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy. Every star has at least one planet. If u do simple math and say one out of every one thousand planets has life. That would leave u with roughly 40 million planets with intelligent life. (Just in our galaxy.) It is reasonable to believe that some of these planets could be hundreds or even thousands of years more technologically advanced than earth. Any civilization that advanced will have mastered interstellar travel and wormhole technology. 

Our current technology can put a person on the Moon, Mars and soon asteroids. Our asteroid belt is between Mars and Jupiter. Asteroids are full of precious metals, crystals, and other resources that could alleviate their scarcity here on Earth. All the metals on earth originated from space. They were deposited here millions of years ago when meteors crashed into the planet. That's why there's a finite amount and the more we mine the less there is. Mining one asteroid could provide the planet enough resources for hundreds if not thousands of years. They're a veritable gold mine and government's around the world are aware of it. It will be like the movie Armageddon minus the cheesy romance and nuclear detonation. Anyone who says "we're never going to mine asteroids" is still living in the stone age.

To put things in perspective, if we are almost able to colonize other planets a civilization hundreds of years more technologically advanced could easily travel to earth. To go deeper down the rabbit hole. There is undisputable evidence that there was a pre flood civilization with advanced technology. What if some of them survived the flood by colonizing other planets? There have been pyramid structures like those in Egypt found on Mars. It would be mind blowing for humanity to finally start colonizing planets and find humans already out there. Imagine the first astronauts to land on Mars call back to mission control. "Houston we have a problem. There are people here and they're angry because our arrival took so long, and we didn't bring any chicken." Deep thoughts from a shallow mind.

Thoughts of possibly being able to travel to space in my lifetime inspired me to paint. There are infinite worlds to discover. My newest piece is titled Celestial Bodies. It's acrylic paint on (40 x 120cm ) canvas. 

  

Smart Ink

For me tattoos have to have a meaning which is why I like to design my own. Over the years I've designed several of the twenty plus tattoos on my body. In between recording the album I've been working on a new chest piece. It's incomplete because I haven't found all the elements it needs. The other day while searching all spectrums of the artistic field for elements to add, I came across some interesting news.  

Tattoo culture as a whole goes back thousands of years. In modern times tattooing in some cultures is still taboo. While in most western countries tattoos are considered decorative pieces of body art. In the past the most functional a tattoo could be was as a map or a compass. Now thanks to some innovative minds there's smart ink that allows tattoos to be used in a variety of life improving ways. Researchers at Harvard, MIT, Google, Microsoft and several other private sectors have created smart ink using Nanotechnology. 

Smart ink tattoos are being developed that allow users to interact and control electronic devices. Some smart ink tattoos are designed to change color when body temperature fluctuates. Other can be used to monitor heart rate, sugar levels in diabetics, and many other body functions. The goal of the MIT researchers is to combine art and medicine. They want tattoos to overcome some of the difficult hurtles that effect the biomedical field in regards to monitoring devices. In place of wearing some bulky monitoring device which requires batteries, straps and cables. You just get a tattoo that effectively does the exact same function. This is especially useful for people with chronic conditions who may require years of monitoring. 

In the near future researcher will have ink that can interact with the skin in ways that allow for increased durability, sight, and reflexes. Basically, they're developing smart ink that can be applied to the body to make bullet proof skin. Super soldiers. Imagine a world where soldiers no longer wore bulletproof vests. Instead they wear normal clothes concealing their cool tattoos and can stop a bullet with their hands. Or someone being able to control a drone with the tattoos on their head. It may sound like sci-fi out of a low budget Hollywood movie but the fact is...the truth is stranger than fiction. The next decade of smart ink development is going to be very interesting. 

Until Next We Speak, Be Well

Tha One an Only 

Bad Days

I remember reading somewhere that "life is full of good days and bad days." At that time I believed the statement to be subjective. Now in hindsight I grasp the value of those simple words. Today was a genuinely bad day. 

The day started off great. I worked out, ate some fruit, sold some items online then left to shoot footage on the beach. I never once checked my trades. After all with 5x leverage what could go wrong? Fast forward to me sitting at the beach opening my phone to realize I lost money in crypto today. It's happened before and will happen again. The last time this occured was months ago when I was dealing with the seperation. My time was spent between over trading, trying to wrestle my inner demons into submission, and maintaining a toxic relationship with the ice cream.  

The ice cream was my comfort companion when things went bad. It was like Wilson the volleyball to Tom Hanks in Castaway.  It took a lot of work to claw my way out from depression. No amount of money or loss can send me back. The price for freedom was high. At first I had regrets...but now its only appreciation. 

The price for freedom was emotion. I don't feel  any strong emotions anymore. I haven't since my clarity returned. The only emotions I feel now are primitive physical needs. The only time I feel actual emotion is when I'm creating something. Creation, taking something out of my mind (song, painting, book, video) and bringing it into reality is akin to love. That process creates a flame deep within my soul that radiates warmth through my entire body. 

When my daughter Nova was only a few months old. She couldn't speak, crawl or do anything but poop, sleep, cry, make cute R2D2 noises and smile. From that honest description Nova sounds like a pocket-sized freeloader who needs to hurry up and get a job. Believe me when I tell u that after months of diapers and four hour feedings I had those thoughts. The only reason she wasn't dressed in a suit like the Boss Baby and kicked out the door to find work is her energy. Although she couldn't speak when we made long eye contact while I fed her a bottle, Nova would radiate positive energy. Just with her eyes she would exude so much love, gratitude and appreciation that it stoked the flames of my soul like an inferno. Babies are the embodiment of the word love. (They're pure light) When I create something new...that's the feeling. The flames of creation aren't as bright as a babies love but they still generate warmth and light. My time with Nova was bittersweet. The last time I saw her It felt like two people meeting in a busy coffeeshop. Ironically sitting outside a coffeeshop much later is where I noticed my emotional grid wasn't processing correctly. 

I'm sitting outside a coffeeshop with a friend who I've known for over ten years. We were in a deep discussion on why I had stopped seeing this hot girl because she said, "I was a really deep guy and she liked me more than just a hook-up." Since he had introduced us to each other, my friend was offended and couldn't understand my explanation. I told him, the minute she said those words I wanted to grab my backpack, wish it had a parachute and look for the nearest window. Instead I just said, "Thank you." Then I told her that I was completely emotionally unavailable and we should stop seeing each other.  To be fair I told her the first part when we met. 

That was the moment when things got real. He asked, did I miss the girl? My reply was, "No I don't miss her." He said, "We ain't seen each other in months. You ain't miss me?" I didn't want to say it but like word vomit it just spilled out. "No." We held eye contact for a moment when I answered. Like gravity the sincerity behind my words brought the whole mood down. We were both surprised by the truth. Luckily the absence of feelings and strong sativa alleviated any worries that would arise from such a potentially friendship ending revelation. Instead we discussed the facts while googling different types of dissociative behaviors. Whatever was wrong with me, it was going to be fixed asap. Since then I've been using diet and exercise for a natural high while working to resolve my condition. Up until today I thought it was a very bad problem.

The whole crypto market dropped by like 20%. When I look at such a drastic drop so close to the end of the bull cycle the words "market manipulation" dance through my mind like Russian ballerinas on coke. If you've been in crypto for a few years u know it's not a conspiracy to say there's something funny going on. This loss is just a lesson that I need to focus on investing and leave the trading until the bear cycle. In retrospect, if I had managed to fix my brain before the price drop. I can't imagine what my reaction would've been. The moral of the story (if there is one) is, the things u may consider problems in your life, can someday help u on your journey. It's all perspective. 

Until Next We Speak, Be Well 

Tha One an Only