Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Random Sh*t

Like the title says, this post is about some random shit that recently happened. If you came to read something scientific or musical...wait for the next post. 

So I just came back from seeing the movie World War Z. It's one of the movies on my waiting to watch list. The movie was spectacular, which is a description I rarely use to describe a film. The plot was realistic, the action was fast paced and the zombies were more of a bit player in the whole film. 

The scary part of the film was how easy a pathogen could spread globally and decimate the population. We now have the technology to reanimate the dead and viruses like H1N1 and Ebola in government facilities. The movie just played that "what if" out in a realistic way but still with zombies to give it a horror twist. If you like zombie movies with a good plot then I recommend watching it. 

Before the movie I had to go to the restroom. While I was in the restroom washing my hands a man came tumbling out of a stall screaming and fell to the floor. I gotta say... it was one of the funniest things I've seen in my life.  Okay wait, let me back up and elaborate. 

I'm standing in the theater restroom where there are a row of urinals against the wall behind me.  There's a row of  sinks to wash your hands in the middle where I was standing. Then a row of toilets against the wall in front of me. To my right there are more urinals on the right wall and the exit is to the left. Inside the restroom there were two other guys. One was standing to my left at the end of the row of sinks using the electric hand dryer to dry his hands. The second was to my right using the urinals at the far right wall with his back towards me. 

As I stated earlier...while I was washing my hands a man fell out of the toilets in front of me. His pants and underwear were around his ankles and he was screaming like a woman, that something had touched him. I was startled by the man's comical dismount from the toilet and almost started to laugh until I saw how serious he was. The man smelled like he was in the middle of doing his business before what ever made him get off the pot.

Once the man fell out the toilet stall, I looked to my right and the guy standing at the urinal had started walking over to see what was happening. I looked to the left and the other guy was gone...all I saw was the door finish closing. The man on the floor at this point was no longer screaming but he was babbling in barely intelligible Dutch about something touching him. The man from the urinal had now made it over to the man from the stall, then helped him up and asked what happened. 

The man from the stall pointed to the empty toilet stall and said something touched him while he was shitting. The stall was empty except for the visitors the man on the floor had left in the bowl. The urinal guy looked at me as if to say... is he crazy. I shrugged my shoulders and began walking toward the exit. The urinal guy went into the stall to investigate and I was almost at the exit when I heard him yell out "Jesus". 

Now I was curious, cuz the urinal guy didn't seem crazy in the brief two minutes we had been acquainted. So I turned around and walked back to where I had been standing on the opposite side of the sinks and looked into the stall. The man from the stall was standing to the side with his pants half pulled up pointing at the toilet. The urinal guy had stepped back out the stall and began walking towards the exit saying he was going to get somebody. 

In front of me the toilet seat had been lifted and on the underside was a big brown spider. It wasn't huge or even menacing, it was about the size of a pencil eraser. If the man seen that spider on the street he would've probably squished it without a second thought. But even that small arachnid found in the most inopportune places could give a person the fright of their life.

I left the bathroom and headed to the movie thinking there should be two rules to using a toilet in a public restroom. It doesn't matter if its a bar, nightclub, movie theater, library, restaurant or where ever. 

Whenever using a public toilet, follow these two rules. 1. Cover the seat in tissue (unless they provide paper seat covers), and 2. Always lift the toilet seat to make sure there aren't any insects or other vermin. Because finding a spider under your ass can make a 40 something year old man...weep like a two year old who lost their mommy. (food for thought) 

No comments:

Post a Comment