Life Goes On...

Like the title says...life goes on. No matter what struggle or challenges you face. The world doesn't care. If u were to disappear, people would miss you, but after tears were shed and kind words were spoken. Life goes on...

I made that statement because recently I was forced to accept that harsh, lonely reality. To be honest I'm glad I had to go through a tragedy that left my heart bearing scars. It's not because I'm a masochist. It's because it taught me three lessons. Each can be found in old expressions. "Life goes on" was the first. The second was "What doesn't kill u makes u stronger," is a fact. When I reached my lowest point is when I found the strength to stand back up and start walking forward again. Losing my daughter was the hardest thing to emotionally survive in my life. Now I'm conditioned, and there's very little left in this world that can harm me. 

One of the steps I've been taking to get back on track, is getting back in optimum shape. It's summer. The weather is hot. Masks are off. No better time to have a beach body. I spent the better part of two months doing my best impression of a couch potato. When I was in the bottomless abyss of despair the ice cream started talking to me. I'm not sure when it started. It was a few weeks after the break-up. I was sitting on the couch, crying like a child because Bruce Willis got shot in Die Hard 2 (or because I lost five figures on a trade), fluctuating between anger and sadness when the ice cream started talking. 

It would say "Hey, its cold and dark in here. Take me out. I'll keep u company and make u feel better." In all fairness the ice cream didn't lie. It made me feel better for a long time. I walked past a mirror one day and looked at my reflection. The mirror had become the enemy. I hadn't seen my reflection in months.  All it took was five seconds of appraisal for me to know the ice cream had to go. Immediately I rushed to the kitchen snatched the ice cream out the freezer and prepared to throw the whole pint in the trash. The Ice cream, frosty and emotionless asked. "Why throw me away? Didn't I make u feel better?" Trapped in the depths of rage and self hatred I yelled back. "Yes, but now I'm fat." Always cool, calculating, and compassionless, the ice cream replied. "I promised to make you feel better. Not look better. That's your job." The ice cream was right. It did what it promised to do. There was no one but myself to be angry with. Once I came to that realization my sanity returned. I thanked the ice cream by eating it. I haven't brought a pint home since. 

During the lockdown in Europe all the gyms were closed (like everything else). Here in the Netherlands we had a (21:00 - 05:00) curfew that only recently ended. No gym meant I had to device a way to get a full body workout at home. One thing to remember is no matter how much u exercise, if u don't eat healthy the results won't show.

The last lesson was perhaps the most important. "No Risk No reward" is also very true. Even if u don't succeed in achieving a goal, you gain more experience from every attempt. Trust me when I say, taking a risk on yourself is the best thing u can do. In eighteen months my entire life changed. I'm optimistic about the future, motivated in the present, and making peace with the past. The journey I'm on is like trying to climb Mount Everest, blindfolded, with one arm handcuffed behind the back. If you're going to stay around prepare yourself because its going to be a bumpy ride.  

Until Next We Speak, Be Well

Tha One an Only